Roses are red Violets are blue life is a bitch and so are you

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What's the difference between apples and oranges? You can't wash a window with a spade.

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This man was known to beat his wife alot, To the car door to open it for her...

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Whats better than 1 person in your oven? 9 people in your oven.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is promptly arrested for sexual harassment.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown how angry are you?

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Knock Knock. To get to the other side.

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Roses are green Violets are grey Tulips are a lighter grey I am colorblind.

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I like my babies how I like my chips. Chopped up and in a bag.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? However many needed.

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Your mama's so fat that when she farted, gas came out!

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What did the worm say to the butterfly? Nothing, worms don't talk.

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Man: You know you're crazy when you talk to inanimate objects, you know you're Insane when they reply. Stick: I know, right?

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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What happens when you throw a yellow rock into a purple river? it makes a splash

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Q: What did the horse say to the other horse? A: Nothing, Horses are incapable of making verbal communication therefore they cant speak to each other.

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so a man walks into a bar and Cancer

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Two black males walk into the bar due to circumstances they had to go home early one of them has to leave early to tend to his ill wife, and the other enjoys his night drinking and making small talk with new friends

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Chuck Norris has a chin under his beard.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR S H I T STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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Looks like you are having a TUFF time recovering from the game.....lol.....

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What did one computer say to the other? 01001111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 0100000 01100010 01101001 01101110 01100001 01110010 01111001 0100000 01101001 01110011 0100000 01101111 01100010 01110110 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011

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Why did the horse insult the postage stamp? He didn't. Horses can not speak English nor can anything verbally or physically critique a postage stamp and make it feel any emotional distress.

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One day in Africa there was a family of Americans touring an African village. They were a happily married couple with a four year old son. This day however was a very sad day because a group of elephants came trampling through the village. The couple left there kids inside and went to help control the elephants. however the elephants killed them all with their feet. Now the little boy wandered outside because after all he was just a little boy. He was about to be killed when a baby elephant calmed down his mom, so he saved his life. The baby elephant then took the little boy back to the airport by which the married couple came because elephants are very smart. The boy didnt want to leave his new found friend the baby elephant but the little boy was then sent back and lived with his Uncle. When he was older, he had a child of his own, a little boy. One day he decided to take his son to a circus, that was from Africa. He didnt realize there would be elephants there. This day the elephants got spooked by a mice and started to stomp all around. Then the man realized his son was missing. He looked down to find his son about to be stomped on by this old elephant. Just as the elephant was about to stomp he and the man made eye contact. The man thought noticed the look in that elephants eyes, like he reconized them. He thought mabye, just mabye it was the same elephant he was saved by. Turns out it wasn't and the elephant killed his son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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