In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Woof.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

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whaT DID HEVEN SAY TO THE FRIDGE hAVE YOU GOT A COLD

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What do you call a horse with bread on its ears? Boris, because that's his name.

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if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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What did the boy with cancer get for his birthday? Roses on his tombstone.

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why wouldnt you want to hit a black man that is on a bike with your car? It mite be your bike

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"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

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How did the chewy cross the road ? it was stuck to the chickens foot.

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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, then they probably won't hear the lumberjack's cries for help either.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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Why was the emo kid sad? Because he gets raped by his dad every night

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why does the room smell bad? because there's a dead body under the bed

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I had 99 problems Solved them all

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Why was the blonde on the train tracks? Because she was tied up by a madman on crack.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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Why did Sally fall off the swing. She had no arms. Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops