Today, both my parents were killed in a car accient. FML.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How you know when dislextic

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How did Richard the lion heart get his name? From his parents.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened to the boy who ate too much? He got type 2 diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -19

why couldn't the girl make her bed? she is homeless.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are green violets are brown wait a minute..........my shoes untied

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why do showers have 11 holes? Because Jews only have 10 fingers

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Corvette? What? I don't have a Corvette in my garage Wanna hear something gross? Sure. 1 at the bottom is still alive. Wanna hear something grosser? Yea. It's eating its way out

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? If i knew, I'd tell you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the woman go out of the kitchen? She did not because she had a curse put on by a man off the streets of Greek row a Yale that said u may never leave the closest kitchen near this very spot, and it turns out that the closest kitchen was in a frat house across the street so now she is stuck in the kitchen making sandwiches for all the frat bros at this Yale frat house, So basically she was in her place

thumb_up thumb_down -19

yo mama is so fat she has more rolls than basken robins does flavors

thumb_up thumb_down -19

*Science Teacher goes into his class* Teacher:MR MCAAAAAAAN! What's the answer?! MrMccann: I dunno sir. Teacher: WHAT DO YA MEAN YA DUNNO?! HAVE I EVER ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO?! MrMcann: No Teacher:Then answer this. JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN DO YOU KNOW THE ANSWER?!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a man holding a bible? A man holding a bible. What do you call a woman holding a bible? A women holding a bible. What do you call a man and a women holding a bible? A man and a women holding a bible.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, it's not that hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? he has an iq of 5 like all chickens

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could DO YO MOMM!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops