What's the difference between Jews and pizza? God likes pizza

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Hello, I'm Mark and I have multiple-personality disorder. Don't listen to him, no he doesn't.

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How do you make a Dead Baby Float..... ......With 3 scoops of ice cream and 1 cup of liquid stem cells.

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Three months to live. Three months to live who? The C-Scan showed a massive, inoperable tumor in your brain that's been developing for years. You have only three months to live.

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What walks on the three legs? Martin, he was born with a tragic birth defect and struggles to make a living.

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What did the gay man say to the other gay man? I like guys... cause I'm gay.

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What's worse than being raped? Not a whole lot-- rape is a very serious mental and emotional strain that will stick with a person for the remainder of their life.

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Q: Why was the american flag red, white, and blue? A:Because that's how it is!

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It was a chilly saturday afternoon coles's brother asked cole to baby sit cole said yes and when his brother left cole proceeded to give it to his niece in the ass. Little did cole know he said his little niece on fire that was the end of his little nieces life.

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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Yo momma is so fat, her total body volume is slightly larger than a normally proportioned person of smaller mass!

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Where do cows get cultured? They don't, they get slaughtered first.

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Your momma is so hot your dad married her. She then slept around with other men. Your dad found out and now they're divorced.

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What is black, tastes like crap, lands in a toilet, feels soft and mushy, sometimes red, blue, yellow, purple and pink, feels very heavy. eats cookies, drinks soft drink and lights fires? A fat person in a coloured suit.

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What did the man do after his wife died? He farted.

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Q.What is black and white and red (read) all over? A. A penguin in a blender.

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What do you do when you have a baby and your being shot by a terrorist. You use the baby as a shield.

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what's worse than dropping half your sandwich? Getting hit in the face with a sledgehammer

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What do you call an asian women running for president? A candidate.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops