The teacher asked her class "What is 42 + 17?" Several hands were flung into the air. "71!" said Billy excitedly. "No, I'm sorry that is incorrect." said the teacher. "67!" shouted Carl at the top of his lungs. "Incorrect!" said the teacher. Then little Johnny raised his hand. "The answer is 69" he said full of intellectual delight. "Very good." said the teacher.

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Boxing on Boxing Day

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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What has two legs and is red all over? Half a dog.

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You'er moma is so stupied that she climbed over the glass window to see what on the other side

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Robin, get in the car, please.

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Why did the bear fall down? I shot it. Why did the second bear fall down? It tripped over the first one.

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Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

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knock knock!? . . No.

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Roses are red.........I slept with someone else

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Abe Lincholn had a son, But he died

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Roses are red, The grass is greener, Every time i'm with you, I touch my wiener.

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what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne? Acne is a skin problem caused by chemical imbalance usually found in teenagers. Michael Jackson was a singer and dancer who should've been able to escape tasteless jokes upon his death.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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What's white, wet, and loved by women? A polar bear cub.

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Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

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Two kids are playing basketball. One says to the other, "FAILMUFFIN!" The basketball flies out of bounds.

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j.p. is dumb

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Why did the cop pull over a black guy? The man was breaking the law by going 82 mph in a 70 mph zone, which resulted in a 100 doller fine. Oh and the cop was a racist.

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Two Muffins are in an oven the first Muffin says "whew it's hot in here." The other Muffin turns around and yells "Duh!!!."

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Q: How do you keep an idiot in suspense? A:

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What's worse then mud on your shoes. Being assassinated by means of a dart to the throat.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being chased by a coyote that hadn't eaten in several days.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops