Q: Why does the black guy eat watermelon A: Because it's a delicious nutritious snack

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

If I was trapped in a closet with you and a bear, and I only had two bullets, I would shoot you twice!

Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's witness Damn...

Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

Why do cats have nine lives? Because they don't have ten.

What did bob get his wife for christmas? Pregnant

Why did the parents tell their adopted son to go to bed? He was awake long after he should've been, according to the rules in their household.

Q: How many jews can you fit in a car? A: Well, it varies on the size of the car and the size of the people entering the car so in reality there is no clear answer due to the lack of information given.

Why was the man like a chimp? Because they are 96% genetically identical.

Q: What's not funny and has three wheels? A: The Holocaust, I lied about the wheels and not being funny.

Moon: The sun shines bright like a virgin. He must be high..

A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

what do santa clause and a blueberry have in common they both have beards....except the blueberry

What does NASCAR stand for? Non-athletic sport centered around rednecks.

Q: Whats A Schoolbus Full Of Black Children??? A: A Rotten Banana!!!

What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

Why did the black man go to portugal? Because he was very hard working and needed a vacation.

What happened to the man who ate a piece of pizza after doing a lot of sit ups, while rubbing the belly of a fat man, and feeding his baby at the same time? He Lived

If there's something strange in you neighbourhood, who you gonna call? my mate Jonno who has a gun.

How many British people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Two. One to screw in the lightbulb, and one to hold the flashlight because the room is probably dark.

why did sarah have to do overtime at work? because i set her house on fire

Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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