What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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How did the mexican cross the border? He went through border patroll, and then later became a legal citizen of North America

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What's red and black and looks good on a Jew? A bullet wound.

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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why did the girl fall of her bike She had no arms

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Knock knock who's threre me, I kill you

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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How come Helen Keller didn’t scream when she fell off the cliff? Because at 19 months she contracted an illness that left her blind and deaf and therefore never learned to properly use her vocal cords

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Black people stink of shite!

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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My gifts to my gf included: A diamond ring, a sports car, a house in malibu, a new credit card, a private jet, but most importantly, a Refrigerator.

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Tifa my ass, if that is your name buddy, then I am Nicholas Cage, or why do you not just call me Cloud Strife? Seriously, if you are a guy just say it and get lost, I will still honor my agreement and show up and see what I can do for your little order though, you pay the trip and the stay of course.

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what is bad about being a black jew? you have to sit in the back of the oven

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What's the difference between a duck and a popsicle? I don't shit on hamsters.

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You are joking right?

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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