what did i get my mom for her birthday? Nothing im selfish

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What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Roses are red, and many other colors too.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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Mum makes $97 per hour working online? Offline I can see , but online, mmm pull the other one, it plays lossless codecs

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Why did the chicken cross the playground? Because he was looking for other chickens because he has no friends and he got bullied when he was in 12th grade. He got picked on because he was sledding down his hill in his backyard and he accidentally scraped one side of his face on ice and started bleeding. The next day his classmates started calling him two face.

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What did the man say when he walked into a bar? Nothing because he got knocked out because he was running too fast and hit his head.

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Whats black and yellow and is funny when its falling off a cliff? A bus full of niggers.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being black

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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yo mammas so fat when she gets cut gravy pours out

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Q: One little blond girl went walking on her own. A: 17 didn't come back.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A joke.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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A man walks into a bar. I don't remember the rest, but your mother's a whore.

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What's the one game that black people are good at? Flashlight tag.

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Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, although depending on how high the light in question is and where it's located she may need someone to help hold a ladder for her, if it's particularly unsteady.

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knock knock? who's there.......... MEEEE :D hehe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops