What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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What did the black man get for Christmas? A felony conviction.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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what did the deaf guy say when the poor man asked how life was? the deaf guy didn't respond considering the fact that he was deaf and would never interact with a poor man.

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What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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An American, a Mexican, and a black guy all walked into the same bar. Why did the 'BEWARE OF METAL BAR' sign have to be in japanese?!

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Whats worse than cutting yourself with scissors? Being forced into a blender by your baby's ghost.

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Why did the boy dig a hole in the football field? He was blind and his parents were being quite irresponsible....However someone should probably fill in that hole, as that could be a hazard during a football game.

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? To get to your house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

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Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

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Tall asians

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How many Mexicans eating a Taco in California does it take to fix a lightbulb? 1

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato.

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A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? You die.

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Whats red and tastes like parsley? Not Red Parsley

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Doctor! Doctor! Everyone seems to be stealing things! Piss off, I am a doctor not a detective you prick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops