Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Knock knock. Whos there? I am you dumbass im standing right next to you.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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What's the one thing America's got but the UK hasn't... School shootings

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Why isn't Billy Mays on TV anymore? Beacause Billy Mays was in a tradgic accident where a bowling ball fell on his head, and a couple days later he died of head trama. His family can't bear to hear his voice anymore.

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What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What is green and can hurt your eyes? I don't know, but its definitely not a laser pointer.

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Here's a riddle: What can you catch, but not throw? A really heavy ball, or STDs.

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Why is bobsledding the coolest sport? Because this is my subjective opinion.

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How are baseball and basketball the same. They aren't football.

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A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

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hey i just met you and this is crazy but here is my gun so get in the van

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Why did the girl scream? She was being raped.

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your mommas so stupid she tried to climb mountain dew well im glad your mom is intrested in trying new things

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What does a grandmas vagina taste like? I don't know -- nor do I want to.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit on the way there.

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What did the clown say when he was denied health insurance? Nothing, he died of his pre-existing heart condition.

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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How many dueche bags does it take to change a light bulb? 0 They're two complete unrelated things

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Who's the best player in Madden 07 on the PS2? Michael Vick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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