What happens when the hydro goes out for 1 second? 1 minute? 1 hour? 1 day? 1 month? 1 year? -1.8 people die. 105 people die. 6,306 people die. 151,338 people die. 4,603,198 people die. 55,238,376 people die. Aw shit, then you have to take account for how many people die of starvation :\, and the ones who froze to death, and the ones who died from heat stroke, And the ones who died of Alzheimers.

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PENIS :)

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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So a boy walks into a bar. He broke his arm and now is severly crippled

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boys before they came to his house? Get on the ferris wheel

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Q: What's worse than ten babies tied to ten trees? A: One baby tied to ten trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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