"Knock knock." "Come in."

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Girl 1: I just can't find the man who'll make the perfect husband for me. Girl 2: Maybe you're asking for too much. Girl 1: Yeah, probably.

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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How come Susie fell off of the swing? -because I hit her with an axe Coolhsoj

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Why couldn't kitty drink it's milk?\ It's face was nailed to the floor

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why should you not go to sleep in public? Because that's how you get raped.

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Gay rights.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Scientists are still unable to fully understand the brain functioning of chickens enough to comprehend their motives for doing such a thing.

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How much does a dead baby weight? the same amount when it was alive!

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Roses are red and i like Pie but seriously, i don't care if you die

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What do you call a chicken that can't lay eggs? a rooster

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

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Why did little Timmy fall off his bike? His pace maker failed.

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A: What does MC Hammer like? B: Big Butts. A: Can he lie? B: No.

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How did the person die? He got hit by a car.

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what do the parents of a starved family do? kill their kids chop them up into little pieces and eat them.

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Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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justin beiber sucks

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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What's cold, tired, wet, and starving? A girl up at 4:00 am that just came out of a cold shower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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