What happens to a banana after it gets sunburnt? It peels.

What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

Where was Suzy during the explosion? Everywhere! Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzy!

Two peanuts walked into a bar one was as'salted'

Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

What did the transvestite say to the hypochondriac? "Ever been to Toledo?"

What's green and eats rocks? A green rock-eater.

How did the fireman get to the police station? He massacred his wife and children.

whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

What's sad about a dog and it's owner dying in a car accident? They were on their way to the vet.

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

A:Who am i "RRRRRR' B:A pirate A:No im fetty wap

Why did the chicken cross the road...

A man came home and witnessed his wife having an affair with another man. The husband and wife got into a huge argument and eventually got divorced

What is the difference between a pile of baby's and a new jeep? I don't have a brand new jeep in my garage.

Did you see Helen Keller's doll house? No... Well it's really nice!

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock. Knock. Whos there? Not Sarah.

Knock knock. Who's there? Blanket Blanket who? Blanket, son of deceased recording artist Michael Jackson. Ever since his father died there has been so much stress in the family that he could not handle it. He ran away and is now seeking shelter and grief council.

Q. What is the difference between an ass kisser and a brown noser? A. Depth Perception.

Roses are red, Violets are violet, If you think Violets are blue you're an idiot because they're called violets for a reason.

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. Oh.

Why did the crocodile cross the road? It is actually highly improbable that such a large reptile would be in a residential area where such roads would exist.

So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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