What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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DEAD ON KANE ITS BEEN ALL YOU ABD CAOIMHIN

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Why was the boy adopted........ because hes grandad

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a teacher walked into a bar and when he walked out he went to his car and proceeded to take notes about the bible, not realising he's supposed to be writing notes from his English book... he's dyslexic and got punched in the eye while he was in the bar; did i mention he doesn't drink?

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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A whole 'nother.

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Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

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-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

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whats red and bad for your teeth? a brick.

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How did the little boy die? Malaria Why? He was poor. Why? A Jew stole his money.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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