Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

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What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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Q:What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A:Lick-a-lotta-pus

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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What happened to the old lady with a hat? She fell down

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TWO PADDIES PASS A PUB

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Manchester City

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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a blonde, brunette and a red head are all goin to jump off a bridge and turn into something. the brunette jumps and says fish, and she turns into a fish. the red head says eagle and becomes an eagle. the blonde gets a running start, but then trips on the way off and she says shit and turns into a piece of shit.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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A termite walks intio a bar, looks the lovely timber bar up and down, and wonders out loud..."where's the bar tender?"

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whats worse than failing your maths test?

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A frog goes to a lake. he meets a photographer , the frog ask him ( can you take a picture of me? he says: sure ...say cheese.... then the frog said :....yogurt

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That's funnier than a zebra climbing the Eiffel tower with Bill Clinton on the 4th night of quanza

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Like this if you want people to stop asking to have their jokes liked.

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Kid hands Lebron a dollar, asks for change Lebron hands him back 4 quarters.

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I was about to do an triathlon, but i took an arrow to the knee. It got infected and i promptly died two days later.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Two penguins sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap." The other says, "What do you think I am, a clock!?!?"

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

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Why did the nun cry? 12 babies were killed under her care.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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