Son come here OK daddy Daddy what are you doing DADDY NO! DADDY NO!

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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A man starts acting weird in a resturant, the waiter says "whats the problem sir?" The man says "I'm choking and I just died."

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A Jew man gets on a train. He sits down and a hour and a half later he is dropped of at his proper destination.

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learn. advance!

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what are the best kind of bees none they sting and hurt like hell

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What's black and blue and made of poo? A drowning black guy, holding some blue poop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was being raped and was fugitive lot trying to escape, to no avail.

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what do u call a gay guy? Marlin Stein and Bryan Carboni

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Why do giraffes have long necks? So they can reach higher, un-eaten leaves.

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why did the black man go to jail why he raped your mom

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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what's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? obviously quite a lot due to the fact that they are two completely different ideas with little to no relation to each other.

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How do you fit four elephants in a car ? Two in the front and two in the back

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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whats the difference between a phone and Helen Keller? you listen to the phone and you smash Helen Keller on the head with a spiked baseball bat

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Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains! That's the least of your worries you have aids!

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This guys grandma comes to live with him. While shes there she has a stroke. He rushes her to the hospital and waits for her to come out of surgery. The doctor comes out and says "i got good news and bad news" The guy says " give me the bad news" the doctor says "your grandma has had a massive stroke and wont be able to go to the bathroom by herself or eat by herself, so you'll have to feed her baby food and change her Diaper for the rest of her life." So then the guy goes " well shit whats the good news" The doctor goes "Ahh im just kidding she died"

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Two muffins are in an oven. They say nothing, muffins are inanimate objects and therefore cannot talk.

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What did the white boy say to the black boy? You're black

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I have your mom in bed just kidding, i killed her Then barried her

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Yup, I 100% agree with all the jokes that were made below this post. Chad's pretty gay.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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