Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A man came home one day, drunk and feeling horny. He proceeded to the bedroom where he found his wife just getting into bed in a lace bra and sexy underwear. This turned him on even more so he cuddled up to her and whispered seductivly in her ear before kissing her neck. His wife was not in the mood for sex so she shot him

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what do you call a dumb blonde with no arms? Her name because she will not respond to anything else

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy only have one arm? tigers make terrible pets

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why do dogs walk across the street? Cause they can

thumb_up thumb_down +8

No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Andi: I have a great knock-knock joke, but you need to start it. Jake: Okay...Knock-knock! Andi: Who's there? Jake: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's worse than a teacher yelling at you? The holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why does Obama not want to get buried? because he's still alive

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the black man get arrested? He didn't pay child support for his 12 bastard children

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't Billy the bird fly? He was an ostrich, ostriches can't fly.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I am black. And i will beat your children. At checkers. They can be the red .

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what did the guy say when he lost his sandwich? wheres my sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what is red white and blue? the french flag

thumb_up thumb_down +8

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops