Why is my girlfriend pregnant? We wanted an abortion

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What do you call nuts on a wall? Walnuts. What do you call nuts on your chest? Chestnuts. What do you call nuts on your chin My dick in your mouth.

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Why did the overweight black man wake up & then not get out of bed? He was paraplegic.

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a duck walks in to a gay bar and asks for a stick they asked where he wanted it before he could answer he was rapped

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A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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A dead guy walks into a grave.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead penguin

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Do you want to hear a joke? No.

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If you have 5 bucks and Chuck Norris has 5 buck you both have 5 bucks

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11th September jokes are just plane wrong.

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What's better than finding Jesus in your room? Finding Chuck Norris in your bed.

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ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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You know why no ones tried to kill Obama ? Picture him in an escalade!

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Your mom is so ugly and stupid that people make fun of her and that's not nice.

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Q:How many pieces of paper can one tree make? A:Trees cannot make paper, people make paper from trees. So the answer is none, a tree can't make any paper whatsoever.

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"knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The SS, we heard you are smuggling jews in your attic, so you are coming with us."

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Roses are shut the f*** up. Violets are shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up.

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How do they call a black man that works in a mine. Miner.

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How do u save a black person from drowning? Take ur foot off the back of there head

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what has one ear, one leg, one eye, one arm, and is Jewish half a Jew

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Sam: This math homework is gay. Cory: You should pursue a romantic relationship with your gay math homework.

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Heeeheeeerrrrrrrrrrr

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why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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