What fires shots? A gun

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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What is white and weighs twice as much as Shamoo? My ass.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Or so the tell me, Because I'm Blind

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And so the Lord said unto John "Come forth and receive eternal life," but John came fifth, and won a toaster instead.

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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What's the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a deceased human infant and the other is a delicious citrus fruit.

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What did the dog say to the mailman? Woof.

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What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

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This is not a joke.

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WNBA

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knock knock "whos there ?" "the police , your husband has died" "ok"

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Why did the teenager crash his car? He had no arms

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What did the chicken say to the.... nevermind

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Roses are red Roses are white and I one time saw a purple one

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A 3 year old child walks into his parents having intercorce the child asked "mommy what were you and daddy doing" she says "sex" the child was scarred for life.

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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womans having rights.

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Knock Knock Who's there? You know you really should have a safer way of finding out who is really on the other side. Now a days it's just not safe to ask, "who's there". I mean it could have been, Milkman, Plummer, or worst a Land Shark!

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Why did Bruno Mars explode? He caught a grenade for ya.

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What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu? If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment.

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What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops