A baby seal walks into a club.

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Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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roses are red violets are blue i had sex with your dog

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How many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. It really isn't that hard.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

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why did you read this anti-joke? because you typed in antijoke on google or have the app on a phone

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Why did the girl lie to the priest? because she didn't want to tell him the truth

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A russian gives away vodka.

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i have no friends actually now i fell bad ... anybody spare money for the bus ahhhhhhh kill me now

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We are not even in the same country, and my eye becomes infected two times a minute or something so I wont be going anywhere. I mean, if you are some guy trying to be a girl in order to screw with me, let me first of all thank you for our exchange of ideas and concepts, and then say that if you are a guy, that likes other guys, then... Well, lets just say that if you are a man, that I don`t speak with men in general, takes away time I can spend with the ladies.

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John lazzaro likes dick

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Did you hear about the Asian boy that entered the piano competition? He died yesterday.

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(sniff) (sniff) It smells like gross diarrhea in here... (sniff) (sniff) ... Yeah it does

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What's funny? A joke. What's funnier than a joke? Two jokes.

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How do you piss of camon? Have sex with shelby!

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Alright then, call me sometime then.

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Humans and dolphins are the only species who have sex also for enjoyment.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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What did the mother say to her son? Nothing, she was dead.

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A: knock knock B: who's there A:come in B:come in who?

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toby limbers is gonna follow in his uncles footsteps, the gay ones

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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