What did the ocean say to the other ocean? - nothing oceans are inanimate objects that are incapable of talking.

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What did the little boy with diabetes get for Christmas? A shot of insulin; just like every other day.

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im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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You can pick your nose, and you can pick your friends nose. But you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Imaj. Imaj who? Haha, you're a Jew.

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Why did the Muslim kill a gay guy? Because the gay guy was threatening his family with a gun.

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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I went to work today....

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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What do a Nazi and a Democrat have in common? They are both members of a highly supported political faction.

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What do you call a cup that holds liquid A cup

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A man ate a lot of ice cream he had double bypass surgery 3 months later

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why should you not shake a baby? because if it dies it wouldnt know that its parents hate them.

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What did the fireman say to the people in the burning house I'm going to use this water for my sprinkler rather than saving your lives. I might as well use this for something more significan, like my lawn.

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with a cocker spaniel? Nothing, because roosters and Dog's don't mix.

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class is canceled. My professor died.

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops