Why didn't the baby learn to walk? It got hit by a car.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Things i love to hate: Conspiracy theorists Religious fundamentalists Hypocritical people Sally (she has no arms) People selling pyramid schemes Liars, con-artists, thieves. Rapists, child molesters, serial killers Terrorists, politicians, and keyboard warriors That is all.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A hat

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Why is josh such a retard Because when he was born a brick fell on his head.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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Why did the airplane crash? A loaf of bread was the pilot.

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A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there's a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get some flowers, so he heads over to the florist and there's a huge flower line there. He waits forever but eventually gets the flowers. Then he heads out to rent a limo. Unfortunately, there's a large limo line at the rental office, but he's patient and gets the job done. Finally, the day of the prom comes. The two are dancing happily and his girlfriend is having a great time. When the song is over, she asks him to get her some punch, so he heads over to the punch table and there's no punchline.

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Lets just say I work for some important people, not the feds that is for sure, ill tell you when we meet, not here. As for my condition, lets just say that I am profusely bleeding noseblood now and that is because I forgot to take my medication, and if I had no medicaions at all, I would have begun bleeding out of me ears end eye sockets, and ironically id die from a lot of other shit before bleeding to death, so thats not even the case. Its nothing common, but I bet people could find out about it pretty fast on wikipedia, and as much as I like throwing shit on random people here, I dont like bothering anyone with my problems, in this case, it came kinda sudden and unexpected, and I dont mind sharing my deepest aspects including this with my best friends, of which one of them you clearly are love.

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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Q: A football coach walks into a bank. Why? A: Because one of his players is suffering from terminal cancer and he needs governmental funding for the team to play the big game against their rivals and to win, in hopes the kid will recover. Q: Why did the football coach go into the bank again? A: To receive more money to find a new running back.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I wanted tobe cool, But I look like you

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What do you call a something with no limbs? a snake

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jess always squints her eyes when making a point

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There once was a man from Peru Who dreamed he was eating his shoe He then shortly died in his sleep due to heart failure at the age of 81.

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple Eating it.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? Depending on the size of the car, you should be able to safely fit somewhere between 2 and 8.

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What do you call the offspring of an elephant? A baby elephant.

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers old man: hi old woman: i have alshemiers

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I can still remember the last words my brother said before he kicked the bucket. "Hey you guys,how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"

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What did the man do when he ran out of milk? He went to the store to get some more milk!

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How do you put a baby to sleep? Snap its neck.

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charlie sheen becomes sober.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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