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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

A man walks into a bar. He leaves a large rucksack by the pool table and walks out. The rucksack then explodes and kills 13 people because it is the height of the Troubles and the man is a member of the IRA, who targetted the bar because it is regularly visited by British servicemen. The media extensively cover the story, and the two sides of the conflict in Northern Ireland decide that the bloodshed must stop, which eventually made way to the Good Friday agreement of 1998.

How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

Q: How do you make a black man think you're racist? A: Racism

A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike!

Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

What did the chicken do? He crossed the road.

What's worse than one cat stuck in a tree? Getting raped

How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

Committing Suicide #YOLO

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. There is a frog in his beer.

How many kids does it take to get a day off of school? ...26

how do you confuse a blonde do nothing

Jack and Jill went up a hill to snort a little coke, Jack felt horny , so did Jill. But unfortunately Jack cant's maintain an erection no matter how turned on he is.

How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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