You know what really chaps my ass? Thongs.

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Q:What did Sandy say to Spongebob? A:Nothing, They were both crushed by the water pressure of being on the bottom of the ocean.

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Have you tried Ethiopian food? -no -well it's really good

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Roses are red,Here's something new ,violets are violets,not ******* blue

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How do you scare a lawyer? Threaten to kill his family.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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How do you get through a locked door? Unlock it.

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why did the girl cry because she was raped

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What did the pencil say to the other pencil? Nothing, pencils do not have the ability to speak as they are an object.

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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a man walks into a bar he suffer's bad injuries by Mad

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how many members of the australian greens party does it take to write legislation? none, it's already been done for them by Karl Marx

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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what's 2 + 2 ? 4, unless you add it up wrong.

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Knock knock! I'm in the shower, i'll be there in 5 minutes

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Three dogs are barking at a wall. People walk by thinking "Why are these dogs barking at a wall?".

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How many holes can you poke in my chest, When my chest is by far the best If you believe you can stab Then then grab a knife...that you can grab Skewer my breast Which lies on the best chest And you will discover A man under your covers Yes, keep on pokin' Poke my chest with the knife you are strokin' And then swallow a chode because you are stupid.

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Why is the black guy jobless? He's 3 years old.

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how many black people can you fit in a car? However many sets there are.

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A sixty Year old man walks into a bank to rob it. He tells the bank teller, "Take the money and put it into a bag!" The teller told him, "Sir I don't have a bag." So the old man turns around and walks out.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? He had no arms.

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Why was the black man carrying the television away from the store? He bought it

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Where does Elmo live? In Sesame Street.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops