wanna hear a dirty joke? ...trashcan

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

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How do you confuse a blond? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What's worst then finding an worm in your apple. Finding a colony of flesh eating bugs after you toke a bite.

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What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a crap?

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A black man, a gay man, and an Asian woman are sitting at a bar. The black man gets a phone call, and after the call all three of them are excited because they are all friends and the black man just got into a good college.

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Why did the koala fall of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the other koala fall off the tree? It was stapled to the first koala.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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What does Chuck Norris order at McDonalds? A Big Mac with a large fry and drink.

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pull my finger (farts)

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What happens when you throw a red rock into a blue ocean. The rock gets wet.

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It couldn't handle the stress and pressure of being a duck so it committed suicide by crossing a road and therefor being run over by a car.

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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Q. What do you get when you mix eggs, mashed potatoes and salt? A. A pretty good batter for mashed potato pancakes.

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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What's yellow and can't swim? A bulldozer

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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what's the difference between a pound of liver and vomit? £3.24

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your mamma so dumb she makes frankienstien look smart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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