Roses are red, Violets are blue; In Soviet Russia, POEM WRITES YOU!

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Two guys walk into a bar. They are knocked out and rushe to hospital because the bar was metal.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

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Whats a movie? A moving picture.

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I met a hot girl in the Tampon aisle and i asked if she wanted to hang out in 5-7 days

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What's the difference between a snake, and a lawyer? A snake cannot comprehend law, nor can one attend law school and set up an office. They are also different species.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

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What do you call a sober man driving a car? a designated driver

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? getting your ball sack ripped off with a grapple hook

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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What's worst than losing a million dollars? Losing a plane. Whats worst than losing a plane? losing 239 people, a plane and a million dollars

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What happens when metal and ice collide together? The Titanic

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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What did the Amazonian tribesman say to the European explorer? Nothing, he was focussing on eating him.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Day turn night. Dreaming is now true . Turn on your flashlight, slenderman is behind you.

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how much kush does it take to get kushagra high

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What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

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How do I become successful like you dad? Just do good.

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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A black man and a muslim enter a bar. The Black man pulls out a gun in an attempt to commit a robbery, however the muslim opened his jacket, screamed "Allah Akkbar" and blew himself up. Everyone died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops