I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, What the **** did i just do? I have no clue......

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What happens when you put a white shirt in the red see on a blue moon? It gets wet.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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69 cents for a rainbow donut shaped as a 69....

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what did the duck say to the other duck Quack

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A penis walks into a bar..

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knock knock. who's there? doctor. doctor who? doctor: you have cancer.

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What's worse than finding a knife in your car? Finding a car in your knife.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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Where do penguins keep their money? No where. Penguins don't have a money economy

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Why did the asbestos cross the road? Because it was being removed from an elementary school due to the fact that asbestos is an air pollutant which is regulated under section 112 of the Clean Air Act of 1970.

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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A duck walks into a bar and says, "Put it on my bill"

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If you walked into a grocery store right in the middle of Cuba what won't you see? The missing Malaysian MH370 Boeing.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What is Hitler's least favorite month? July...

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

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i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

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"Why can't you hear pterodactyl when it goes to the bathroom?" "Because the pee is silent?" "No, because they are dead, you idiot."

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Why did the chinese doctor get fired? Because he was involved in a malpractice suit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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