What's small and doesn't turn girls on? A bottlecap.

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Yo mama so fat she makes blind kids cry

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Why couldn't the blonde count to 70? because 69 was a mouth full:)

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Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Yo momma is so ugly that shes been taking self acceptance classes for her very low self esteem which is only one of many side affects shes had from years of bad relationships and being told she was and infact still is horrifically ugly its a truly sad thing and being the child of her you should be ashamed that you have not worked to help raise her self esteem

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why did the boy laugh? cause he was reading this joke!

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Big feet on a man means he has, Nothing, a man's foot size has no relation to the size of his penis.

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Why was the chicken angry? Because he was tired of everyone questioning his motives.

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My neighbor's kid was running around yelling magical spells. I said "Wow, you really want to be like Harry Potter, don't you?". He said "Yes!". So, I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

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Please don't shoot me

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Q: Whats more funny than a pile of dead babies? A: The one in the center eating its way out

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: Feces

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What is the difference?

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Enough.

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Two girls are in a car together. The one in the drivers seat is texting while driving. The girl in the passengers seat notices this and tells her the she should put it away in case of a risk of a collision. She apologizes and puts it away and the two of them drive to the store unharmed and continued their normal day.

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What do you call a man who's a gynecologist, painter and respected martial arts champion? Talented.

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Why didn't 6 like 7? Because 7 was a huge racist.

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what did the gay man say to the pole? May i have this dance

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops