Whats black and white and red all over? My wife, i constantly beat her and I should probably be arrested for it if she didnt love me so much

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Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

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What did the rapist say to the child? Contrary to popular belief, I am just a kind old man that likes to hand out sweets to disadvantaged young children. I only got dubbed a rapist when a child crawled into the back of my van as I drove off; the fact that his abusive father was the one who raped him is not my fault.

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You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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What's 8 foot tall and can't breathe? Ryan Eisenhour

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

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A child walk's into a bar. And gets sexually abused.

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Question: What do you call a Black person who cooks food at a fried chicken restaurant? Answer: A chef

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What's black and blue and is scared to death? the kid in my trunk

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A man walks into a meat shop. Man: I bet you $20 you can't reach the meat on the top shelf. Butcher: The steaks are too high

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What do you get when you rape a dead baby filled with jalapeños? A lifetime in prison, and a burning penis.

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When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

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Knock knock! Who's there? Hitler, time to shower!

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What's the best part about having sex with twenty eight year olds? They've reached sexual peak but aren't yet past it. Plus, they still aren't in their 30's.

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A monk went to a bar. He soon came out because he realized he didn't have cash because he left his wallet in his other robe.

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What's Green and has four wheels? A green car

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How does Hitler tie his shoes? with little Nazis!

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Knock Knock Who’s there? Tom Tom who? Tom Pearson? Oh Tom, I wasn’t expecting you til 3pm, please come in.

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I would tell you a joke about a broken pencil, but it's pointless.

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Why did the mexican cross the street? Because the next lawn to mow was in a different neighborhood

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What do a turtle an a bird have in common? They both fly except the turtle

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Jimmy's mom: Jimmy go do your chores now!! Jimmy: You shut your mouth, whore. Get your smelly ass back in the kitchen!!!

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Why did Mia fall off of Lucy's bike? Because Lucy didn't like Mia and shot her in the face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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