What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

what did the pregnant women get? A miscarriage

1657 is a cool number, when a leprachaun sings it sounds like pie drinking an obese penguin (do you know what I mean....) :D

Why couldn't Mary see the painting? Because she had no face.

Why did Emily fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Emily.

Yo' momma is so old she should probably go to the doctor and check her health so she can live a longer, more healthy life.

Wow you look beautiful in that picture..... Let me see your tits. Sorry, I thought I was still texting.

Someone just commented on my joke! ... oh wait it was myself

Whats the difference between a pizza and your mom? Your mom's a bitch.

if you are reading this your wasting your time

Dude man, I'm high...

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

roses are red violets are blue some poems are good and some don't

What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

A clown attends a childs birthday party. He molests 4 children and kills the others. Then leaves.

What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

A grammatically correct mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve mushrooms." The mushroom says, "Why not, I'm a fungus."

A. Big feet, you know what that means B. He has to order his shoes on line because they don't carry his size in stores.

Roses are red Violets are blue You're parents are dead All your friends are too

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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