A: What's that on your shoulder? B: A birthmark. A: How long have you had it? B: Don't know.

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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how do you stop santa from laughing? snap his neck.

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Two clarinets were locked in a case for 20 years. They both play well.

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what do mexicans cross? whatever they want. but in this case their local grocery store parking lot to buy fresh produce.

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The awkard moment when you realize you either have cancer, are pregnant, or a combination of the two.

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When life gives you lemons You've got some lemons.

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Q: What's worse than not having a good relationship? A: Starving Africans

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Coming this fall, A hilarious movie for the whole family to enjoy, actor Rob Schneider play a very normal man would goes to work everyday to support his family who he loves more than anything in the world, critics are saying that this is the most vulgar slapstick comedy of the year as Rob Schneider teaches his two adopted kids the power of Jesus Christ. Coming this fall... The Nun's Birthday Rated R for excessive nudity of Rob Schneider and an asian hooker.

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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Why did the turtle take so long on his run? Because he never went on a run he walked.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

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How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? All of them.

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How does micheal Jackson know when it's bed time? When the big hand touches the little hand.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your bike.

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What's the best thing for a hangover? Heavy drinking the night before.

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Hickory Dickory Dock, Three mice ran up the clock, the clock struck 1, and the other 2 escaped with minor injuries

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What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? Fuck.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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What happens when your scared half to death...twice!!? Nothing, being scared half to death is an expression, you should not be fearing for your life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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