What do you say to a jew with blood on his leg? Are you okay?

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Midgets' mouths are perfect height for, kissing other midgets.

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What did the Jewish man say to the banana? Nothing, because he has common sense

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? A Jehovah's witness.

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What has two legs and oinks? Half a pig.

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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do you know who loves getting fisted? sock puppets

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knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Have you seen that ad about starving children in Africa? It was pretty gay

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? None, you don't have to be jewish to change a light bulb

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Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups. He prefers to bench press.

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Q: what did the man say to the woman? A: hi

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they take the left and get hit by a semi and all die.

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what is a present you would give a werewolves? I said... OBAMA!!! tee hee

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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View Terms of Service

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How was breakdancing inventented? From niggas trying to steal hubcaps of moving cars!

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A horse walked into a bar and asked for a pint. The barman said, 'Sorry, we don't serve horses.' Adele sighed and walked out.

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Why didn't Johns book get published? He had dyslexia.

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What did the blind kid that couldn't talk get for Christmas Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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