Chuck Norris and 2 other cowboys were out in the old west. After a long day of travel in the desert, the three of them set up camp for the night. Having sat around their fire silently for some time, the first of the cowboys decided to speak up. "You know," he said, "I believe I am the manliest man here! Why, this one time I was riding all alone through the desert on my manly horse when I stumbled upon a town that had no name. Upon entering the town, I realized that the townspeople were in a panic. Everyone was fleeing for their lives and screaming. So I grabbed the nearest woman to me around the neck and demanded of her, 'What the hell is going on around here?!!!' The woman, terrified, only managed to stammer and point. Low and behold, there was a wild bull skewering people through the heart. So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and grabbed the bull by the horns and looked him straight in the eyes, broke his neck, crushed his testicles, rammed my fist into his chest, pulled out his heart and ate it! That is how much of a man I am!" There was silence quite for a while. Soon the other cowboy cleared his voice and said: "You, know, that's pretty good, but I am more of a man than that! Why, this one time, me and a few of my manly buddies were off on a horse trip. I was bringing up the rear of the line when all of a sudden I heard a commotion at the front of the line. Kicking my fine horse with my spurs, I raced ahead to see what was the matter. Low and behold, there was a twenty-foot rattler that had consumed my friend whole! So, what did I do? I got down off my tall horse and ran over to the snake, grabbed him around the neck, crushed his testicles, bit off his head, sucked the venom from its cold, lifeless body and then spit it upon the dry ground like acid! That is how much of a man I am!" After this, there was another silence. The two cowboys looked one another over, each recognizing the other to be a fine specimen of what it is to be a man. They then both patiently waited to hear Chuck Norris' response. But there was only silence. Off in the distance an owl hooted. A coyote howled. Still, silence. Chuck Norris didn't say a word; he merely continued to sit calmly and stir the coals of the fire with his penis.

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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Your mother is so fat; I love fat fat people.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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How many baby's does it to paint a wall red? It depends how many you throw.

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What was funny about the Halocast? Nothing, thousands of innocent people died

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what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

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Q: what did the dog say to the cat? A: nothing dogs can't talk

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What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

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What did the dog say to the Jewish Rabbi? Bark

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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What did the gay black man say after JFK was shot? Wow thats really sad but I have such an appetite right now so i should probably go to eat.

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Why couldn`t Sally open the jar? Because she did not have thumbs.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - Jehovah - Jehovah who? - Jehovah's Witness - Go f*** yourself.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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A blonde a brunette and a ginger jump off a cliff they die upon impact and their families mourn for years to come.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor an the doctor said, "I am calling Child Protection Services."

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What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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