A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "What will it be tonight?" He then promptly remembers he is on anti-joke.co but is too late to react. The horse has already shit on the floor. This is the fifth time this week that this has happened.

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"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

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Uh no, yogurt as in the bacteria that they add to milk in order to make the finished product yogurt. You see, while the effect is seen in twins (for example if one twin gets raped, the other gets a fucking sore ass) Sorry, I am still under trance here myself, you get out of it, I am gonna have some fun, go splash some water on your face. I mean people go like "woah that is impossible it only happens in rare cases and so on right?" Fun stuff: Yogurt, you can seal yogurt in a steel container miles away after separating its culture (basically having a colony living together and then moving them away from each other as in 30000 kilometers and sealing them in soundproof safe`s and whatnot. Feed one half of the yogurt, and the other one far far away begins munching into thin air, now keep the food close to the yogurt, and the bacteria will begin "begging for it" (as in when baby chicks notice the parent has arrived with food), and so will the culture of yogurt sealed in a safe 30000 miles away. Why? Living in similar states, brings a natural connection, we are attracted to similarities, and as far as the human knowledge of the LAW of attraction goes, distance is not a factor, look it up, or just believe me.

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why are black people so good at basketball? Because they practice

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What's worse than being in the Holocaust? Dying in the Holocaust.

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"What's funnier then this joke? Women's rights." *Your suggestion is contradictory considering the fact that you are implying "Women's rights" is more humorous than "Women's rights".

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

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Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Mike: Johnny pass me the sauce Johnny: I can't pass you the sauce Johnny could pass Mike the sauce as he has no arms and Mike kept on asking as he has short onset alzheimer's.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Stop fucking around I told you I was coming. I'm sorry. Come in.

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Why was Jimmy upset? Someone kept pouring liquid nitrogen on him.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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A man walks into a bar he's drunk and can't feel it But he's ok

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Orange! -door opens- You fucking come over here selling oranges one more time Julio and I will have you deported.

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An arab says allahu akbar, people respect him as he is pronouncing his religion in his place of worship

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Yo momma is so poor when she went to the bank the teller was like " you have no money."

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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caoimhin you satan of CHRIST IM A DICIPLE OF CHRIST UNLIKE YOU

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What is red and has no legs? Half a baby.

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

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Why do black people have nightmares? Because we killed the only one with a dream.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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