Your mom is so fat she weighs significantly higher then most females of her age and height.

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Dumbledore dies.

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Why did the boy fail the test? He had down syndrome.

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Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One. Screwing in a lightbulb is a simple, menial task, and the fact that the man was a Jew is irrelevant.

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Why doesnt Squidward wear pants? Because he likes to hang loose

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, build up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What Do Yu Call 2 gay guys? Tyquan And Dnautica

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penis. nuff said.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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What did the man say when he was having sex with his wife? That feels quite good.

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Why couldn't Sally celebrate hollaween? Because she's not allowed to take candy from strangers. Also Sally died a week ago in a car crash.

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Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

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Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. They have been planning a girls night out for weeks.

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What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

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How do u get an A on your test. U lock your teacher in the closet.

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What do you call a boy with no arm and no legs in a fire? Screwed.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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You're a big fat monkey.

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WHY ARE WOMEN SO HARD TO SLEEP WITH? Because the men are always hard while sleeping with them

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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