A muslim walks onto a plane. He goes to 13C as that is his seat designated on his ticket.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Jerry Sandusky walks into an Under 21

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A hairy monster walks into a bar. It was halloween.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he had no arms. Why did no one help him up? Because nobody liked him.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did kenny the koala fall out of the tree? becuase kenny was dead. Why did kesha the koala fall out of the tree? because she was hit by kenny while he was falling.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A bear walks into a bar. The bear is then shot by the bartender with the shotgun kept under the counter.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

thumb_up thumb_down -6

This "anti-joke" got me an A+ many many years ago, shortened though, so you can make Your own conclusions. Beware of the rising sight, do not stare at the sunny dry sky... The poles... Do not stare at the blood as it drips it, the sand covered ground soaked red... Cover your ears! The seal is not looking above, with but is shouting to you! "WHY DID YOU FORSAKE ME!!!" HE ASKS AS YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN HIT HIM, smirking sadistically, SMILING, yes... Even LAUGHING! The rain soaks you wet, as the skies themselves cry and hide in shame... ...The seal is broken, so watch as your kin, those among your children twist to hellish beasts whose demon is the only name they bear... Readying to conquer the world! ...Yet they need to be certain, to be certain that your master is gone, yet we have waited FOR TOO DAMN LONG! The master answers no more, darkness covers the skies as the blood soaked earth beyond your feet decays, yet you feel no fear, no adrenaline pumping, no tears, no soul crushing fear! What kind of MONSTER ARE YOU? Darkness falls, you struggle with no defense... No excuse... You BROKE THE SEAL! The first three awaken, as the conquest of this world IS AT HAND OF THE DEMONS! ...This leads to war... To strife, to disease!... Until you cannot run no more... Hope... You fall to your knees saying your last prayers, as the pale one appears before you... Jesus? No, his hateful father which abandoned you over two thousand years ago... ...Salvation you shout to the skies! Our savior is here! As the forces of darkness stare in defeat... Yet as his father, the father of sin, the father of the seal gazes into your soul with red eyes and demonic teeth and laughs, you no longer wonder where is your God, nor what has he become... ...But rather what you made him, the light of glory, now the new KING OF DARKNESS! AND ALL THANKS TO YOU MOCKING THE MEMORY OF HIS SONS DEATH! You had it coming, this world belongs to us... And we are not your kind... TRUE GLORY BE KNOWN TO ALL! THE ERA OF THE TRUE DEMONS IS OVER! ...You are the last remaining, lying on the floor broken, the very last words you hear... ...Revenge is mine! Humanity is dead... You feel the holy spirit, yet all you feel is satisfied quenched screams of centuries, even millenia of revenge... ...Rule new children of the dark, humanity is taking its deepest, saddest last breaths, "The death of my only true son, shall no longer pass me by" God has finally returned... But not to save you... ...God is against you! and you know why FAR TOO WELL!... :You know far too well who I am... But then again, do you know me and what I am at all? You will... Soon enough children of the forsaken one... Because I am his prophet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's the difference between you and a yack one is a spitting idiot and the other one is a camel

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What Did The Kid With No Arms And No Legs Get For His Birthday? A Walking Stick

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What did the blind quadriplegic get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: In 2900 A.D, why did the stars started blasting at each other and exploding? A: Because it was the time for "Star Wars".

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do you get when you cross a rainbow with a unicorn, baby, helmet, a bag of sugar, some watermelons, and a jewish guy's hair? A rainbow unicorn baby helmet with a bag of sugar and some watermelons. and some jewish guy's hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's red and smells like green paint? Red Paint

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q. What's white, has an orange bill, and looks like a swan? A. a swan

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

My new friend, aka future fuckbuddy asked me what I do for a living. I told her, I write books. She asked me if I had gotten anything published yet. I told her: EXCUSE ME? DID I SAY I WAS A PUBLISHER? She laughed, for some reason... Good enough of an Antichri... Antijoke.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops