What do call a someone with no arms, legs, and has an eye patch? Names

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I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

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What's brown and sticky? My ass.

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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I put my baby in a microwave.

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What do you call a low-fat banana? A nothing...

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How come Helen Keller couldn't drive? Because cars were not invented back then.

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roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

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If polar bears were pink they'd be very easy to find

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A man walks into a bar

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Cole likes to trim jaycie's butt pubes

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Hellen Kellers dad put a plunger in the toiler and left it there. Hellen Keller went to use the bathroom and.. moved the plunger so she could take a shit.

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How did the marines cross the minefield safely at night? Under a full moon

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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matt has ebola...funny right!?

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

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Knock Knock. GO AWAY!

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I scream, you scream, we all scream when hit by an ice cream truck

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Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

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josh is a skinny headed keppy mong

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they're dead. idiot.

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I went to the bookstore to buy me a Where's Waldo book. I looked through the store and couldn't find it anywhere.... Well played waldo, well played.

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The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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