Why didn't the little boy wake up today? Because he's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Two muffins are in an oven. They procede to bake at 325 degrees for thirty minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

How do you stop your golf ball from hitting a goose? You dont.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Knock Knock Who's there? Charles Grodin. Charles Grodin who? Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the seat next to you? A: Whatever his name happens to be.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A professor of literature asked me, "Young Sir, why are you burning those books?" I replied, "Because I need a fire to cremate the bones of your 3 sisters that I violently raped and murdered" He smirked in a witty and arrogant fashion, until raising his head and saying, "Bond, James Bond" He continued to massage his dick with his own pubic hairs before collapsing and dying

thumb_up thumb_down -18

q

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats worse then hell? The guy who commited suicide would know.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

70% of heroin addicts die at some point in their life.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Q:What did sandy say to spongebob A:Nothing they were both crushed by the water pressure of being at the bottom of the ocean ni,gger

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a gay man having sex with a woman? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Father "Why so down son?" Son "I've always been this short..."

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

thumb_up thumb_down -18

man ur hairline is soooo far back the archaeologists couldn't find it

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

If Chuck Norris was really so awesome he would come and slam my head into the keyboard.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A white man a black man a french man and a mexican are on a sinking ship. The French man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of begets over board. The Black man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of red hot cheetos overboard The Mexican man says "we have too many of these" and throws a bunch of Tacos over board. And then the White man says "we have too many of these" and throws the Mexican man overboard

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why is king kong so fat? because he eats to mucj

thumb_up thumb_down -18

im jackson, i have a small willy, and like to finger my dog

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops