What did the robot say to the child? Nothing, he malfunctioned and strangled him. Despite the authorities best efforts to free the kid, he was still strangled because robots are really strong. After killing the boy, the robot self destructed and leveled 5 city blocks everyone within the vicinity was killed.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Q:Did you know Helen Keller had a tree house? A: Neither did she

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why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

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it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

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What's worse than seeing Charlie sheen in a Turkish bath house? Watching the direct tv commercial for the 100th time today

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what's purple and plastic purple plastic

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Why did the middle age man walk across the street? There were no vehicles currently driving on that particular road

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what do you call a professional gamer Their name

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"What's wrong?" "I can't fap." "Why not?" "Because I saw your face."

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cory

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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What happens when cole goes into a dark room? It's not possible his hair puts off too much light

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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While running away a burgular cut his hand on a piece of glass. He fell to the ground bleeding like crazy. What did the police say when he saw the burgular? You've been caught red handed.

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You know what's natural? Bears.

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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What did the cat say to the towel? Meow.

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? open the door and put him in.

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An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman went to the top of the Empire State building to have a penis measuring contest. The Irishman had the longest penis.

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The closest I've been to an animal charity was when I walked past it to by myself a fur coat

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops