How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

I was just entering the toilet in a transport cafe just as a lorry driver was coming out. "I wouldn't go in there mate if I was you" he said "Why does it smell?" I enquired "No I've just murdered a prostitute"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +12

you...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a suicidal man walks up 49 floors and enters a room and opens the window. hes worked there for 5 years and the air condition is broken

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light-bulb? I'm melting!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wanna hear a funny joke? Sure. Me too, do you have any?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what are three short words? i a am

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Happy Birthday!! Have some meth cupcakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the leaf fall of the tree? Because it was fall

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it doesn't have the capacity for rational thought and decision-making and was subsequently hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What is worse than getting stung by a wasp? Getting raped by a sexually frustrated bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok,

thumb_up thumb_down +12

cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: Why was the little girl not allowed to watch the pirate film? A: Due to the violent scenes and coarse language, her parents decided it was inappropriate.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

When is the only time you see a Mexican and Black person driving together ? When they feel like it .

thumb_up thumb_down +12

whats the difference between a dead dog and a dead black guy on the road? there is skid marks leading up to the dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the man think as the foul baseball flew rapidly toward his face? Oh man, I thought my tickets were to an NBA game.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

thumb_up thumb_down +12

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't eat your friends Nose it is!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Its about rewriting the laws of the universe and nothing less, yes yes theoretically the subconcious has unlimited potential (or at least potential we humans cannot theoretically comprehend nor define). But what if I can use my consciousness to trick my subconsciousness? What if I use the subconsciousness to trick the consciousness into tricking the subconciousness?

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops