Stevan Hawkings walked into a bar. Ohh shit :/

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make a clown cry? Hit him with a chair then rape his children

thumb_up thumb_down -6

You know you have no friends when you steal someone's ALIAS concept and disrespect what is perhaps the most intellectually satisfying form of humour. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the idiot take a selfie with his phone underwater? Because he's an idiot

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? alot of things, worms don't taste that bad.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A man walks into a bar. Three weeks later he gets a liver transplant.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: A black man, A Mexican, And a Asian are in a car. Who Is Driving? A: It depends who is the owner of the car. .

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

thumb_up thumb_down -6

How do you make a kid with ADHD stay still? Shoot him in the knee cap

thumb_up thumb_down -6

seek beauty

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Q: What is Tarzan's favorite Christmas Carol? A: None. He was raised by gorillas, who are unlikely to have ever heard of Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

I have a meeting with a man about a horse. I have a chance to win the triple crown. Barboro is gonna do awesome. Oh wait he is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? were both lawyer's.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

So I was walking down the street the other day, I went to the shop.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

what smells like diarrhea and looks like diarrhea? diarrhea stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -6

A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar, but they're wearing normal people clothes, so no one notices or says anything funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops