what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

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Where does a king keep his armies? In his sleevies

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house she is likely to be there for some time.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your mom Oh hi mom

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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CHORGLUND

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why did the black man jump higher than the white man he was on a trampoline

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How did the guy who's been in his mothers basement for 20 years lose his virginity? He didn't, that's where his mother hid his body.

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What did the Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know. I can't speak Chinese.

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Why did the woman cross the road? Trick question, she didn't because she was in the kitchen.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 ? Cuz he was black.

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Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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Why couldn't the woman give her sister a present? Because she just got eaten by zombies.

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Q: How do you drown a black guy? A: Hold his head underwater and sit on his back.

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A man walks into the doctor's office and says "I'm not feeling to good doc." and the doctor says "Thats because you have a fatal brain tumor and probably don't have too long to live."

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What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

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A train poops its pants.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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