What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Aww, I knew you where a sweetheart at the core Nerochan, I mean I look up towards people that don't give a jack about what others think but I am not as good at it as you are. Now can you please spam that away like really quickly now?

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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What do you get when you cross a black man and a mule. Arrested.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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There's two Cherys in a bath one chery asks the other one to pass the soap the other chery said what do I look like, a typewriter?

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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Q: A blonde walks into a bar. What does she get? A: An icepack.

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How may Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops