If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed. I will also remove you from my friends list on Facebook because stealing isn't nice.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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Why did the Mexican get arrested? Because he crossed the border.

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Knock knock Who's there No one. The house has been vacant for years.

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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Why was 6 afraid of seven? well if 7 8 9 then what happened to the rest?

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your mamma so fat... she went to hell.

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besides saying "Oh, Yeah" and punching down walls, what does the kool-aid man do? drink cool aid

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could walk into the mall and kill hundreds of innocent lives and leave thousands wounded.

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How do you get your children out of a cardboard box? You open the box to see your dead children's corpses

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Q. Whats Red and yellow and has braces? A.Pierre-Louis

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A black man, an arabic man, and a hispanic man are all in a car, who is driving? The black man.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You know what? SCREW YOU!

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Holocost jokes arent even that funny, Anne Frank-ly they annoy me.

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An elderly man farts during Sunday morning mass. The children around him laugh and then their parents remind them to be respectful.

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Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got hitted by a drunken driver and died last week, when he was cycling to school.

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Roses are red, but there are also pink, white and yellow varieties Violets aren't blue, they're violet, hence the name I've got OCD And my poetry skills are also lacking.

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Terry has ebola

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What did little Timmy get for Christmas? Abandoned

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Why don't Batman go to an Ozzy Osbourne concert? Because Batman doesn't exist.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy running off the cliff? Watch out! You're running off a cliff!

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops