What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?.

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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So, what happens when Germany attacks France? France proceeds to slaughter the attackers mercilessly, as it was during the Feudal Ages, a time when France was Europe's superpower.

Why did the chicken cross the road Time for you to get a watch

Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a convicted rapist.

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

Knock knock, Who's there? The police, you have committed 14 major felonies and you are being arrested.

What do you call a person with no arms? Armless.

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to a near by hospital where he is treated for a concussion.

Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

Wha did the fireman say when he burnt his finger? Shit.

How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

why did the kid fall off the swing? someone threw a fridge at him

What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? It thought they were playing follow the leader. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? It had no arms. Why did the little girl fall off her tricycle? She was hit by three monkeys and a refrigerator.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

Your momma's so fat; She has a constant sense of insecurity due to the instability in her relationships caused by her involuntary obesity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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