Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens can't fly, what choice did it have? All it wanted to do was to get to the other side. That chicken knew what it wanted to do in life. What do you want to do with your life? Be chicken smart. Cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If you are American when you walk into a bathroom and American when you walk back out, what are you when you are inside the bathroom? You're probably dispelling waste products from your body.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a bicycle? An orange because it has no sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened to the house that was made without concrete? It fell over.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you beat a black man in a race? You run faster then him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If you're American outside of the bathroom, then what are you inside the bathroom? An American inside of a bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

why is pie good. because it just is.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man with multiple sexual partners? Well, first you strongly urge him to get tested for any contagious and potentially dangerous STD's that could have been transmitted from one partner's genitalia to another person's genitalia which could have very well been he himself. They could be life threatening. Oh, and call him by his first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Every day thousands of pets and animals are beaten, neglected and abused.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well you should really try some.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops