Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

Q: Whats about two feet in width and length with purple veins throbbing at the sides? A: A midget slowly dying of frostbite

4 gay men walk into a bar,but there is only one stool..... What do they do? Turn it over

Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a skitsofrantic, and so am I

Q. How do you wake up a sleeping rich man? A. By splashing acid in his face

What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

Ian Watkins was excited to attend the opening of the children's ward at the hospital today. It went well and the day was a success.

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The Dali Lama walks into a pizza parlor and asks the owner to make him one with everything. After 20 minutes or so the owner brings the Dali Lama a pizza with every available topping. After he finished eating the Dali Lama thanked the owner and left a nice tip.

What did the penguin do in the desert? He died .

Why was the boy crying? Because him and his sister were sent to an orphanage.

Roses are red, violets are blue shut the hell up, and sit the hell down

A blind man walks in a bar I mean like a metal bar But it didn't hurt He only laught

Roses are red Violets are blue The sky is also blue

What's sweet and tastes like candy? Candy, now get in the van.

Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

when debbie meets downer

What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

the sky is green no it is not

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

What did the little girl with no legs or arms get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock knock? Who's there? Not that little girl.

Your mother is so ugly it affects her self esteem.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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