Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?".

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Q) What's worse than getting dumped by text? A) Getting hit by a fridge.

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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There is a blonde, a redhead, and a brunnette stuck on a deserted island. the redhead gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk the 100 miles back to shore. she begins swimming, gets 10 miles out, gets tired, and drowns. the brunnette gets sick of being trapped, so she decides to risk it too. she gets 50 miles, gets tired, and drowns. The blonde decides to escape as well. she is able to swim 98 miles, gets tired, and swims back.

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"I am proud to be black and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist. "I am proud to be white and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Racist and offensive to black people "I am proud to be asian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Not racist "I am proud to be Ethiopian and I wouldn't want to be any other race." - Said nobody, ever

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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person: Ask me if i'm a tree other person: are you a tree? person: no

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What do you call someone with no arms, one leg,and an eye patch? names

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Two black guys are in a car. Who is driving? One of the black guys.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The I.R.S.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

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Today, my house burned to the ground. FML.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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"Knock knock." "Come in."

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I'm trying to find out how many people in the world have Alzheimers, do you? No. Bananas.

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A man walks into a dairy. Most people will not get this as it is cultural slang and they will think it is referring to dairy products.Oh well. This was going to be a good joke.

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What's worse than finding a holocaust in your apple? A worm.

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What do you call a bird that can't fly? A dead bird

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my grandpa told me "dont let fear rule your life" 2 hours later he got hit by a train.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What's the difference between a melon? One of its halves are both the same.

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I love telling anti jokes rather than jokes because I was born with a rare case of ebola and suffer from alcoholicationism

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's really irrelevant when you realize this joke is about a suicidal chicken...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops