My grandmother's zodiac sign was cancer, and she was killed by a giant crab.

What's black and white and red all over? A modern abstract painting

What's sadder than a dead baby? Any dead adult, considering how much more they've contributed to society.

If pro is the oppisite of con what is the oppiste of progress Congress

What happens when you give someone a free chocolate bar? ThEeyroast it and vapourise it intheir hands....no they eat it

A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

What do you call a gay mexican on welfare? poor

Religion.

Your mamma used to be fat till Slim Fast came out with dick flavor!

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

What is an Indian's favourite country? North Currya

A man and his wife are sitting on the couch in their house, watching tv. The man says, "Do you smell smoke?" The woman then replies, "No." They then proceed to watch more tv.

Hey girl, are you from Jamaica? Cus ja makin me go temporarily insane.

Why did the 100 year old man die? He was really old and his heart stopped beating after his BLT.

what is almost like Jesus? Jesus

Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Velcro

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 1: Who's there Person 1: me me you who you me you who me you no me (say super dooper quickly)

How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

Q: What said the first bagel to the other? A: Nothing! Bagels can't talk!

What do you call an Asian man without any clothes on? -naked

what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...