What is long and hard that a bride gets on her wedding night? An erect penis.

How many squirrels does it take to drive a refrigerator 10 quarts per elephant? Vanilla Cake

What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

What did obama say to the united states of america YES WE CAN

Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

A blonde walked into a bar.

Why did Susie fall out the swing, Because I hate disabled people and i pushed her

Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere

The Walmart Scooterwhale (Terracetus obesitus) is the only member of the cetacean family to live in a terrestrial environment. Commonly found in large-scale grocery stores all across North America, it subsists mostly on fattening junk food, microwave popcorn, and beer.

what happens when a retard hits an iceberg with a gigantic boat? 1517 people die.

Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

drugs.

What did michael jackson say to the boys he touched? Nothing. Hes dead

What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

A man walks into a pole He breaks his nose And bleeds to death

What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

A Black man walks into a bar. He then has a drink of Alcohol and walks home to return to his family.

Why couldn't the man open his car door for the women? He drove a jeep with removable doors

What do you call a swimming pool full of black people? A family enjoying their holiday.

Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

How many licks did it take for the owl to get to the center of the tootsie roll tootsie pop? A: Since when did owls have tounges?

What do you get when you mix monster, coke, and and seltzer? Kicked out of stop and shop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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