An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

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An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scott land on an island. They were on vacation and returned to the UK, which consists of two isles.

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The other day I saw this dog. It said woof.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf or bread. why did the plane fall apart in mid air? The engineer was a loaf of bread Why didn't the plane take off? because it was delayed.

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was pursuing his dream of becoming the world's best circus clown, which six developed a fear of in a tragic circus accident which occured in his childhood. Therefore, six was afraid of seven.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Im Harold Camping.... and i enjoy scaring the shit out of you

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

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whats worse than 911 nothing you cant beat 911that sucked

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Why was the man called Big Larry? His name was Larry and he was morbidly obese.

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What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

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whyd the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side :)

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Why do you put a baby in a blender face up? To see the expression on its face

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69...you know how awkward this is now...

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whats chinese noodles

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"Hello?" "Is your refrigerator running??" "Yes..." "Oh. Well then have a nice day."

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Roses are red Violets are blue My body is ready I want you

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Dogs taste better in stews.

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Whats Do You call people, on the top floor of a Double-Decker bus? Passengers

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whats funnier than a black person dieing nothing that is so cruel

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what did the white car look like... a black car but the color is different

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops