Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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A black, jew, mexican, and american are on the boat. The boat begins to sink. As an idea, they all throw stuff off the boat to try to stay afloat. The black throws off cotton, the jew throws off yamakas, and the mexican throws off sombreros. Then, the american throws off the mexican because there are too many in his country. The mexican drowns. The boat still sinks and the american goes to hell while the other go to heaven.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They were baked until the baker them until they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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Roses are Grey Violets are Grey I'm Color Blind F*CK

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When is a door not a door? Never. a door is always a door. it cannot be anything else.

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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Why should you paint a canoe black? Being the darkest color, it will hide dirt, scratches, and normal wear and tear on your canoe better than lighter colors.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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p

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Q. why did the blonde stare at the orange juice carton? A. it said concentrate.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? Older.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a tape worm in your apple.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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If Chuck Norris had five dollars and YOU had five dollars, he could still punch you in the face for free and get ten dollars out of it.

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Teagan Doherty, stop making jokes, thanks

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what do you call a 2-foot blue scottishman named max? max

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What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and only one eye? Dave.

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How many blonds does it take to screw in a light bulb? ... It shouldn't take anymore than one person to do this job, regardless of there hair color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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