What did the ketchup say to the mustard? Nothing they're just condiments.

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Q. At the main menu why are there two people sad? A. Because there is.

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Q: What did the boy say to his mum when he saw a Lion A: Hey mum that's a Lion

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Old Macdonald had dyslexia IE IE O

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? He found out his family was killed in a terrorist attack.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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I don't always drink beer but when I do, I viciously beat my wife and children.

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Stoner Student: "Imagine if El Nino and La Nina got together and started a family and had little Los Ninos." Class Nerd: "Yeah."

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

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you know what they say, Big man, Big hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, shame he died

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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whats black and white and covered in blood Michael Jackson being stabbed

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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Q:What did the Black man say to New York? A: Black Out.

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Joker2? Who comes up with the names anyways? Sounds like a stupid version of the matrix... Anyways, I stutter because my nerves are killing me, I cant quit the painkillers cold turkey if I cant sleep without them, besides I am used to physical pain as tragic as that might sound... Its not when you get used to it. I need to know who this Neo-Nero was, for anyone that can tell me, he is not around here at these hours, and during the time he/she I was dead, did considerable damage to my and my orders reputation, I need a face to face talk to someone that would put aside my chosen successor and assume my role, and I wont let that happen again even if it means bruising up this Neo-me a bit.

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Why didn't the boy eat his food? because he wasn't hungry.

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An asian man walks into a bar He buys a drink.

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What did the ocean say to the black guy? Nothing, it just shot him.

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Roses are red violets are flowers jordan and me did it for hours If you know what i mean xxx

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What's worse than eating brussel sprouts? Getting raped by a brussel sprout.

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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A young boy recently saved a priests life. He found a solid lump on his testicle.

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Why did the black man get a zero on his SAT? He was up so late helping orphans with disabilities that he fell asleep during the test.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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