Why didnt Santa give the little Girl her Pony? Santas not real.

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What did the Mexican say when a house fell on him? Nothing. He's dead.

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How do you make a Nazi mad? You slash his tires.

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A man is approached by a mysterious character in the streets, offering to tell him a dark and amazing tale. The man declines and walks away.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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What's funny about using a shake weight? It resembles masturbating with a penis.

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What do you call a man with 3 arms, 6 ears, 9 fingers, and a red clown nose? His name.

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A black man, a Mexican man, and an Asian man all walked into a bar. They proceeded to have a good time together as they were celebrating their graduation from medical school.

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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Did you hear about the guy who fell out of the stands at the ranger game? He died.

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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A man walk into a bar. Just kidding he has no legs.

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How did the fat guy die? After an autopsy, it was discovered he was unaware of his type 2 diabetes and therefore did not treat it

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What do you call a black man in space? An astronaut.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse doesn't respond because its a horse and cant speak or understand english and gallops out of the bar knocking over a few tables and stools.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having enough money to buy an apple.

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Roses are red, violetes are blue, Your monkey sucks.

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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Wanna hear a joke? Once upon a time, there was a successful Mexican.

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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Little girl and a pedofile walk into the woods at night. Little girl says, "mr pedofile im scared" pedofile responds " you think your scared? i have to walk out of here alone."

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They promptly order their drinks and then leave.

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Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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