gay marriage.

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A man walks into a bar. He is then rushed to the emergency room for severe blunt force trauma to the head and multiple cranial fractures. After years of mental therapy the man re-gains full cerebral capabilities and is extremely cautious to keep an eye out for potentially dangerous bars that present a threat to his fragile reconstructed skull.

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Whats pink and screaming? a skinned baby in a bucket of vinegar+

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got run over by a semi and died.

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Why did the polar bear cross the road? He didn't, there are no roads in Antarctica.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The answer really isn't that important.

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"Do you live in the United States?", said the man. "no." said the other man, "cool beans", said the woman.

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What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

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What did the father give to his daughter? AIDS.

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A dermatologist walks into a strip club. He tells the stripper she has hives on her back and that she needs to go to a clinic, then gets up from his lap dance and reports her to management.

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69

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A panda walks into a bar... Psht. Panda in a bar, that's impossible.

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Hello, nice to meet you.

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A homeless man walks into a house He is invited to a lovely lunch and then beaten to death

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My friend billy had a ten foot.... Garden hose. Upon showing it to the neighbour next door he hit it with a rake which significantly shortened it and subsequently had to buy another

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

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Some woman's like "Make me a sandwich!" Some guy's like "No way!" The woman says "Or I'll rape you!" "Allright. Fine with m... Wait... I thought women didn... I mean couldn.. you know.." "Rape?" "No, eat sandwiches!"

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A daring man once said "Here goes nothing!" Anddd nothing happened.

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i have yougurt with tractor

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Three men are walking on a beach when they find a lamp. They rub it, and a genie comes out. It tells them that they each get one wish, and to choose wisely. They each decide to discuss what to wish for with their wives. Their wives take them to a local hospital, where they receive treatment for hallucinations.

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Roses are red violets are blue come on love show me you boobs/by kw

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what is an antijoke? a type of comedy in which the joke ends in an antivlimax that it is funny in its own right GDS*

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Q: What is worse than The Apocalypse? A: Darkseid, Thanathos, Red Hulk, Onslaught, come on The Apocalypse cant even beat the X-men! Moral: "I AM THE APOCALYPSE, YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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