You cant like my stuff ive known you for like 1 day. just kidding you can like whatever you want, actually ive know you for 5 years

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how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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I'm off to my tank guys!

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Why couldn't Austin eat his noodles? He was a horse, and horses don't have hands, silly goose!

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when your cable is on the fritz, you play video games instead. when you play video games, you get good. when you get good, you go to COD XP. when you go to COD XP, you lose to whiteboy 7th st. when you lose to whiteboy 7th st., you get into Skyrim. when you get into skyrim, you reenact cut scenes from skyrim. and when you reenact cut scenes from skyrim... ...you take an arrow to the knee... ...don't take an arrow to the knee. Get rid of cable.

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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What's silent but deadly? Limnic Eruption.

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banana

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http://richardfigures.com/

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I was reading this book one time..... and my imagination took me away to many lands and times.

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What do you have if you have 100 rabbits in a row and 99 step back? That would be a very unlikely thing to happen, unless a mildly scary predator was released in front of them, or they weren't all stepping back at the same time.

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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Whats fleash color flesh color and fleash color? a hodo rolling down a hill.

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Two friends are arguing over who is the best pie maker. '' I've made pumpkin, apple, peach, cherry, blueberry, and sweet potato!" " Yeah well I've made all of those AND pecan!'' ''Yeah well have you ever made boysenberry pie?!" "No! What the hell!" *in a calm tone* " Yeah, me neither."

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them.

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What did the chemist say when his BBQ ran out of charcoal? Nothing interesting.

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knock knock whos there open the door and find out

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What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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Excuse me waiter! What the hell is this fly doing on my soup? I believe it's swimming on it, sir.

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Health food.

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What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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